Understanding ADHD and Social Anxiety: Specialised Support in Glasgow

Do you find yourself losing track in group conversations despite your best efforts to stay engaged? Perhaps you blurt out thoughts impulsively and then spend hours overthinking what others must think of you. For many millennial women navigating both ADHD and social anxiety, social situations aren't just occasionally nerve-wracking – they're a complex interplay of processing differences, missed cues, and intense self-consciousness that can leave you feeling perpetually out of step.

The Unique Intersection of ADHD and Social Anxiety

While ADHD and social anxiety can each present challenges on their own, experiencing both creates a distinctive set of social obstacles. This intersection is particularly common among millennial women, many of whom may have been overlooked for ADHD diagnosis in childhood when symptoms presented differently than the traditional hyperactive male model.

How ADHD Affects Your Social Processing:

Attention fluctuations during conversations, causing you to miss key information
Difficulty filtering background noise in social settings like restaurants or parties
Impulsive responses before others have finished speaking
Working memory challenges that make remembering names and details difficult
Time awareness issues that lead to running chronically late for social events
Sensory processing differences making certain social environments overwhelming
Executive function struggles affecting planning and preparation for social activities

These differences aren't flaws, but when they collide with neurotypical social expectations, anxiety often develops as a natural response.

When ADHD Meets Social Anxiety: The Challenging Cycle

For many women with both ADHD and social anxiety, a draining cycle develops:

ADHD symptoms emerge in social situations (interrupting, losing focus, etc.)
Negative social experiences occur as others misinterpret these behaviours
Social anxiety develops about how you're being perceived
Increased self-monitoring creates additional cognitive load
ADHD symptoms intensify under stress and divided attention
Mental and physical exhaustion results from managing both conditions
Recovery needs increase, often leading to social withdrawal
Self-criticism grows about "not being able to socialise normally"

This cycle is particularly challenging because the very effort to manage social anxiety (careful self-monitoring) can make ADHD symptoms more difficult to manage, creating a frustrating loop.

Beyond "Just Pay Attention": Common Misunderstandings

The social challenges that come with ADHD often receive unhelpful advice like "just focus" or "try harder to listen," which fails to address the neurological differences at play. Simultaneously, the anxiety component may be dismissed with simplistic suggestions like "don't worry what others think."

These approaches not only miss the mark but can increase shame and self-criticism when they inevitably fail to resolve the underlying challenges.

The Social Impact of ADHD and Anxiety

The combination of ADHD and social anxiety affects many aspects of daily life:

Professional Challenges:

Struggling in meetings to follow conversation while managing anxiety
Missing subtle workplace social cues that others seem to intuitively grasp
Difficulty with networking events due to both attention issues and anxiety
Impulsive comments followed by intense overthinking
Time management issues affecting professional relationships
Performance anxiety compounded by executive function challenges
Energy depletion from masking both conditions at work

Relationship Impacts:

Appearing disinterested when actually struggling to maintain focus
Interrupting conversations then feeling intense embarrassment
Forgetting important details about people despite genuinely caring
Difficulty maintaining regular contact with friends due to time blindness
Being overwhelmed in group settings and then withdrawing
Inconsistency in social energy and engagement
Misunderstandings with partners about attention and communication styles

The Emotional Experience

Living with both ADHD and social anxiety creates a complex emotional landscape:

Feeling fundamentally different from those around you
Constant worry about being judged for ADHD symptoms
Exhaustion from masking both conditions in social settings
Frustration when trying your hardest yet still struggling
Self-doubt about your social capabilities
Grief over missed opportunities due to avoidance or negative experiences
Confusion about your authentic self versus your anxious, ADHD-managing self

Understanding Your Unique Brain: The Neuroscience Perspective

Your challenges aren't character flaws or lack of effort – they reflect real neurobiological differences:

ADHD affects dopamine and norepinephrine systems that regulate attention, motivation, and impulse control
Anxiety involves amygdala hyperactivity creating heightened threat detection
Executive function differences impact working memory, planning, and emotional regulation
Sensory processing variations can create overwhelm in standard social environments

These neurological realities mean that traditional social advice often fails to address your actual experiences and needs.

Finding Your Path: Practical Strategies That Actually Help

Rather than trying to become neurotypical (an impossible and unnecessary goal), the most effective approaches embrace your neurodivergent brain while developing targeted skills:

1. Create environments that work with your processing style

Choose social settings with less sensory stimulation when possible
Position yourself strategically in social spaces to minimise distractions
Use fidget tools discreetly to help maintain focus in conversations
Schedule shorter social activities with breaks built in
Set realistic expectations for your social energy and capacity
Utilise supportive technology like reminders and calendar alerts

2. Develop ADHD-friendly social strategies

Practise the "pause and process" technique before responding
Create mental shortcuts for remembering names and details
Develop recovery phrases for when you lose track of conversations
Establish routines around social planning and preparation
Build in buffer time to accommodate time blindness
Identify your optimal socialisation times based on medication timing and natural energy patterns

3. Address anxiety with acceptance-based approaches

Recognise that social perfection isn't the goal (or even possible)
Identify which fears are anxiety-based versus realistic concerns
Practise self-compassion for both ADHD symptoms and anxiety responses
Gradually approach avoided situations with appropriate support
Focus on values-based social choices rather than anxiety-driven ones
Develop present-moment awareness to interrupt rumination cycles

4. Consider disclosing when appropriate

Sharing your challenges with trusted friends can reduce the burden of masking
Simple explanations can prevent misunderstandings about ADHD behaviours
Finding your community of neurodivergent peers can provide validation
Being authentic about your needs can lead to more meaningful connections
Educating important people in your life about how your brain works differently

Finding Professional Support in Glasgow

If you're looking for counselling in Glasgow that truly understands the ADHD-anxiety connection, finding the right support can make all the difference. At Brain Botanics, I combine evidence-based approaches like Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) with ADHD-specific strategies to address your unique needs.

Our counselling sessions provide a space to:

Understand how your ADHD and anxiety uniquely interact
Develop personalised strategies that work with your neurodivergent brain
Address negative beliefs formed from years of social challenges
Build confidence in your authentic communication style
Navigate specific social situations with practical preparation
Discover your strengths as a neurodivergent individual
Connect with appropriate local ADHD and anxiety support resources

My Glasgow practice is tailored to the specific challenges of navigating both neurodivergence and anxiety from workplace settings to social gatherings. When you choose therapy with Brain Botanics, you'll receive support that acknowledges both the neurological and social aspects of your experience.

Embracing Your Neurodivergent Social Self

The combination of ADHD and social anxiety presents unique challenges, but with the right support, you can develop authentic connections that honour your neurological reality. With understanding and targeted strategies, you can navigate social situations in ways that feel genuine and manageable.

Book a free consultation call today to take the first step toward social confidence. At Brain Botanics, I provide comprehensive anxiety counselling in Glasgow and surrounding areas to help you navigate the unique challenges of ADHD and social anxiety. For those who prefer the convenience of online therapy options, I offer secure video sessions that provide the same quality of care as in-person appointments. This flexibility ensures that support is accessible regardless of your schedule or mobility considerations.

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Rebecca is a Glasgow-based therapist specialising in neurodivergent experiences for millennial women, with particular expertise in ADHD and social anxiety. With 12 years of providing anxiety counselling in Glasgow and specialised training she helps clients build genuine confidence in social situations while reducing masking, overthinking, and exhaustion.

Book a free call